Monthly Archives: April 2010

A Pox on Our House

My brother is getting over the chicken pox. He came home from school last week after passing out in the library and being rushed to the emergency room. As he was hooked up to heart monitors to make sure nothing was seriously wrong, mom noticed the first few telltale spots forming. Dr. Idiot insisted that it wasn’t the chicken pox. He’s just now past the part where you fantasize about ripping your skin off. We think he passed out because he hardly had anything to eat that day, and he’s normally a very good eater.

As for me, I’ve been incredibly busy with schoolwork. This is the last 10 days of the semester, which means the workload is really intense. I am exhausted. Once the semester is over, I think I’ll be crashing for a solid week, at least.

Done with psychology (YAY!). Two English papers to go.

In just a few hours, I meet with the pulmonologist for the first time. I’m nervous, especially since I found out that he’s in the same office building as the DOOMatologist that I had a catastrophic experience with the year before last. With any luck, he’ll be nothing like that DOOMatologist, and maybe he’ll even know what to do with me. Ah, a girl can dream…


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Filed under Breathing, Doctors, Family, School, Sick, Specialists, Tired

Education Frustration

I have two papers to write for English and four chapters to read for psychology by the 30th. Instead of actually doing the work, I’m doing what any good, responsible student would do: I’m blogging about school.

I just registered for Fall classes. Like this semester, I’m taking two classes, Spanish 1 and Art History 1. They have nothing specifically to do with my major of biology. They’re classes that everyone has to take in order to graduate.

Because of my health, or lack thereof, I have a very hard time getting out of the house. So far, all of my classes have been online. I knew there would eventually come a day when I would have to go to campus for a class. That day has come – there is no online option for Spanish 1. I’ll be going onto campus on Monday and Wednesday for an hour and 20 minutes to learn Spanish. Art History 1 was available online, thank God.

I’ve only been taking two classes because I know that this is the most I can do without crashing. I desperately wish I could take the “usual” number of classes, and I was very tempted to just sign up and go for it. Fuck you, health problems!

Aside from my mom and a few close friends, nobody understands why I can’t just go to school like everyone else. My doctors don’t get it. Most of my family doesn’t get it. Nobody gets it.

I’m getting straight As, so I’m going to be on the Dean’s List and 4.0 List, right? WRONG! I won’t be getting my name in the newspaper for being on the Dean’s List and 4.0 List because I’m not able to take enough classes to qualify for either list. Some of my doctors have said that they’re going to be looking out for my name in the paper, but it won’t be there. And they don’t get it. It’s not fair.

Getting As in two measly classes is no big deal, anyway. At least not in my school’s opinion.

My reduced life expectancy combined with the snail’s pace at which I’m taking classes means that I may never actually graduate. Even if I do graduate, I’m not well enough to even get a job. My efforts will mostly likely go unnoticed. It’s not fair.

Students who struggle against illness to take two classes deserve to be acknowledged just as much as full-time students. I hope people begin to understand this someday. Until then, I’m sticking with it, because my mind is a terrible thing to waste.


Filed under Anger, EDS, Frustration, School

Snot Funny

I feel like I’ve just snorted a few lines of fire ants. My eyes won’t stop leaking. I feel like shit.

Two mornings ago, I woke up with the beginnings of what is most likely the head cold mom had three weeks ago. At least she loves me enough to share with me. Why it took my wonky body three weeks to come down with this thing, I do not know. I can’t explain anything my body does – I cannot be held responsible for my body’s actions.

It started out with just a hint of yuck and some extra sneezing. Now, I’m in full-on, flat-out My Body Hates Me Mode – fire ants, leakage of facial juices, and the ever-present nausea that comes with postnasal drip.

Won’t someone kindly rip out my sinuses, please?

On a happier note, everything is worked out with my insurance. Well, everything I actually CAN work out with my insurance is all worked out. My pain doctor’s office got my new referral, insurance approved my morphine for six more months, and I didn’t even have to have them change my primary care physician because they had the right one on file! I’m still waiting for my insurance cards to arrive in the mail, but I can get medical care and prescriptions filled by bringing the letter they sent me wherever I go to get treatment.

I get all of my meds refilled next week, and I still have to find out which ones are the least expensive so I can pay for some out-of-pocket so I can have the more expensive meds covered by insurance (they only cover five prescriptions per month, bastards!).

Everything fell into place perfectly, which is unusual for me. It’s a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I have several big English papers due in the next few weeks, and now with this face-explosion of a head cold, insurance issues are the last thing I need or want to be worrying about.

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Filed under Insurance, Medicaid, Medication, Sick, TennCare